February 27, 2005

Since You Asked...

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All that i write in response
about what i have done, experienced
is less significant than
what cannot be written...

That impossible-to-describe
doctrine of thought
or the intense link
between Dominant and submissive
which is either there
or is not
and to then explain why
it failed
and harder still
to ask one to explain it
to You?

impossible.....

..... It's an unavoidable Mystery.

i have experienced the physical
submission of my body
it is pleasurable but ultimately,
an empty thing without that mental
spark.

Not knowing me
one cannot see the
submission in my spirit,
the ache inside my brain
still left unfulfilled
to belong
serve proudly
be of use
and be owned

You cannot know
all that i
avoid saying
is not because
i'm hiding something
but how very difficult
a time i have
saying
what i want
what i need
who i once gave myself to
and why it is no more

or maybe i fear finally finding
the Dominant that
will know me
as well as i know myself,
and who'll collect
each drop of info
for future use
for His desires
and mine

....this is the hardest part of the journey.

wanting to zap the knowledge of
who i am and have been
into Your head
so You will just
know that
for me it's more than
being tied up
tied down
taken and marked by your whip
it's about loyalty
the meshing of our desires and goals
and the most important words
are the ones
followed up with
actions

please i beg You
don't read my words
see the effort i am making
to help You know me
with words...

February 15, 2005

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